BORN TO APE.
He had diamond hands before he could afford gloves. His manager called that a safety violation.
OFFICIALLY UNDERPAID SINCE DAY ONE
NORMIEAPE$NORMAPE
MINIMUM WAGE.
MAXIMUM APE.
Born to ape. Forced to work a 9-to-5. He wanted to escape the rat race, but ended up in the ape race. Now he's just one pump away from quitting his shift.
EMPLOYEE #0001JOB TITLE: PROFESSIONAL BAG HOLDER
EMPLOYEE OFTHE BEAR
MARKET
MARKET
DREAM SALARY1 PUMP
/ HOUR
/ HOUR
π΄ NO MORE OVERTIME
01 / The origin story
THE
LAST SHIFT.
He never wanted to become a meme. He just wanted to afford rent without doing the closing shift.
REAL PHOTO OF THE GRIND (ALLEGEDLY)
THE GRIND NEVER CLOCKS OUT.
THE UNOFFICIAL EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK Β· VOL. 001
FORCED TO FLIP.
Burgers, not profits. Eight hours on the grill. Eight more staring at candlesticks.
WAITING TO QUIT.
His resignation letter is typed. He's just waiting for the chart to approve it.
βTHE RAT RACE WAS FULL, SO HE JOINED THE APE RACE.β
02 / Employee training simulator
FLIP BURGERS.
FLIP YOUR LIFE.
Your manager says the shift is almost over. Your manager is a liar. Flip 12 burgers to unlock your imaginary resignation.
π ORDERS: 00 / 12ESCAPE METER
TAP TO FLIP π
CLICK THE BURGER OR PRESS SPACE WHEN FOCUSED
STILL EMPLOYED0% FREE
MANAGER: "Great attitude! Could you stay late?"
*** OFFICIAL (NOT REALLY) NOTICE ***
I QUIT.
EMPLOYEE #0001 β’ NORMIE APE
03 / The unofficial employee manual
HOW TO
APE IN.
Today's special: a meme with absolutely no nutritional or financial value. Here is the general route once the token launches.
π SECRET SAUCE / OFFICIAL CONTRACT ADDRESSCA: coming soon
* ALL βONE PUMP AWAYβ REFERENCES ARE MEMES, NOT FORECASTS. THERE IS NO LIVE CHART OR VERIFIED CONTRACT ADDRESS ON THIS PAGE YET. WATCH FOR IMPERSONATORS AND ALWAYS VERIFY OFFICIAL LINKS.
04 / Staff room wisdom
BREAK
ROOM.
βI HAVE TWO JOBS. ONE PAYS ME. ONE LIQUIDATES ME.ββ NORMIE APE, EMPLOYEE #0001
βTHE ONLY THING I KNOW HOW TO FLIP IS A BURGER.ββ SHIFT MANAGER'S REVIEW
βI'M NOT LATE. I'M EARLY FOR MY NEXT SHIFT.ββ PROFESSIONAL BAG HOLDER
SAY SOMETHING NORMIE
βMy manager said think long term, so I checked the 1-minute chart.β
05 / The exit interview
ONE
PUMP.
ONE WAY
OUT.
Just a normie trying to ape his way out of a 9-to-5. No promises, no roadmap to a Lamborghini. Just a monkey with a dream.
STATUS: STILL WAITING FOR THAT ONE PUMP.